I don't care what anyone says, we have all at one point or another wanted to be mean or do something outright evil to someone who deserved it. I would be the first to admit that if someone crosses me, I mean really crosses me and makes a victim out of me, things will get ugly. I am not proud of this, I am merely stating a fact. I grew up Catholic, so it was all about turning the other cheek, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, etc...you get where I am going with this. However, while some may take the unpleasantness they have been subjected to and turn it into a life lesson and something they learn and grow from, I take a turn at "Enraged", hang a left at the corner of "Not Having it" and "Hell Mothafucking No You Didn't" and end up at my local precinct.
There is a whoooole lot of crazy up in here and I don't tend to unleash it often, it takes some pretty dire circumstances for me to lose my shit and let my diabolical side take over. And only one time have I (in the other person's opinion-certainly not mine), taken things too far. If there is anything I hate more than a liar, it is a man who lies to me. You know the kind of gutter trash I am talking about. The one who promises you the sun, stars, moon and universe, and assures you it will happen at some unclear not too distant point in the future when he finally leaves the woman he has been in a relationship with for 8 years. Hmmmm. Now of course, immediately I am not going to be immediately perceived as the victim at this point since I was at the time knowingly involved with someone who was already in a relationship. Well, in my defense let me just say that I was 26, a single mother who was feeling lonely and going through more than my share of hardships emotionally. I was at probably my lowest point that I had ever been up until then. My self esteem was non-existent and it may sound like I am making excuses but this dude came at me with everything I needed to hear, how beautiful I was, how he couldn't believe I was single and how amazing I was. It did wonders for my ego, to be so worshipped and I selfishly wanted him for myself, no matter that there was already someone else in the picture. Needless to say, from the beginning it progressed like some outrageously bad Lifetime movie where he threw every cliche in the book at me, and I despite having seen the movies and read the books knowing how all of those stories turned out, fucking fell for it. His word was gospel and I became so brainwashed that when my friends tried to interfere I dismissed their concerns unable to face the reality of my situation. Then he said those three little words "I love you" and I was lost. He began to promise me and my son a future. A future where we could live our lives out loud and not have to resort to three minute phone calls or sneaking around. I was so wrapped up in all of the bullshit, I did not see that a year and a half had gone by and nothing had changed despite his repeated promises that he was going to leave her because he didn't love her, he loved me....blah, blah, blah...
Well about six months before it actually ended, I tried to break up with him for all of the obvious reasons. However, he did not want to let me go and would call me and beg me not to do this, to give him a little more time and I inevitably relented. I woke up one morning six months later, a year away from turning 30 and no closer to the end of waiting for him to piss on the pot or get off. I called him and asked him to meet me for lunch downtown which he did nearly everyday anyway. And at our appointed time, I met him we walked to the Public Atrium on Wall St. where I proceeded to lay into him and tell him what a worthless piece of shit I really thought he was along with a few other choice words. There was no doubt this was it, it was over. All he said when I was done was, "I'm sorry". I felt numb, devoid of any thought or emotion. That's it? He wastes two years of my life with his bullshit and all I get is a lame ass "I'm sorry"??? I walked with him back to the train station and surprisingly I felt no sadness, no loss. I was angry. He went down the stairs and disappeared into the train station. No doubt breathing a sigh of relief that it was over. I however must admit my resolve faltered a bit and what triggered my crazy in the end was the fact that I had called him several times after that day to talk and he never answered the phone nor called me back. Ultimately I know that I came off stalkerish and psycho, but I had just had my heart broken AGAIN and I had been made a fool of AGAIN, and this time I was not just going to go gently into that good night, no fucking way. I enlisted my fellow nutcase, "Nutty" and together we hatched a plot so diabolical, to this day when I tell that story, people's jaws drop.
Some women can be ditched and just suck it up and move on with their lives, mourning the relationship in private, taking care that the "ex" never be aware just how wrecked they are inside. I used to do that too...Fuck that. Now someone fucks me over, it's on like Donkey Kong. Crazy? Psycho? Yes and Yes. But I don't care about how I look to others, in this case I only cared that I was hurt and humiliated by someone I trusted. Nutty was the only one who stuck by me in my quest for revenge. My other girlfriends tried to talk me out of it, saying that all I was doing was showing him importance he didn't deserve and showing that he still has me "like that" so much that I am willing to go off the deep end because of it. To me, I wasn't trying to hear all that noise. I pressed ahead and with the help of Nutty's computer, I took his picture and plastered it over "our story" which chronicled our relationship from beginning to end including all the lies he told me to make me believe we had a future. When we were done, it looked like a WANTED poster of sorts. It started with bold 18 pt font that screamed WOMEN OF (THE TOWN'S NAME) BEWARE. One weekend soon after it ended, Nutty and I rented a car and went down to his neighborhood in the middle of the night and waited until it was good and late and basically wallpapered his entire neighborhood with this poster. After we got one on everyone's car up and down the block, we drove over to where he gets his coffee and paper on Sundays and left a ton of them there as well. We also drove over to a mutual friend's block which was nearby and left some there too. When we were done, we got in the car, laughed all the way home and waited for all hell to break loose.
Our mutual friend called the next day asking me what had I done? Apparently what's his face was pissed! My response was, "He shouldn't have lied to me, he got what he deserved". My friend laughed and promised never to double cross me. I felt a little cheated in that I didn't get to see his reaction when he saw all of those posters everywhere. I would have paid money to see it! But I had the extreme satisfaction of knowing I had stuck it to him and that would have to be enough.
It did not end there. It would seem he was very angry about what I had done, so angry in fact that he had taken the matter to the police who called me and asked me politely to come in, but I was also told that if I did not show up, they would come and get me. So I showed up alright. I took Jordan who was 2 and a half by then, my friend Antonella and her daughter who was 3, and Nutty came with her boyfriend. So when I rolled up into Manhattan South with an entourage and the detective who was going to question me saw us, he just shook his head and said, "Oh my God". He asked everyone to step outside and took me into a room which had probably seen criminals much more hardened than myself. He threw a black plastic bag on the table full of my flyers and I laughed. He didn't think it was all that funny. He asked me "Are you responsible for this?" and I said "Yes I am, he deserved it." The detective said he believed that judging from my looks vs. that of my former beau and I took it as a compliment nevertheless he informed me that my actions had earned me one count of aggravated harassment and some other shit, since I used a Xerox machine to commit my crime and was essentially defaced city property by putting up the flyers. I told him it was not libel because what I had written was true. The cop said that it didn't matter, what I did was still illegal. He fingerprinted me, had me smile big for my mugshot and I waited and waited until my prints cleared all 50 states before I was finallly released. The cop was a really pleasant guy who did everything he could to make me comfortable. He told me he hoped I had learned my lesson in dealing with assholes. He called the douchebag, "a pussy" for pressing charges against me for something he so clearly brought upon himself.
I went on my way, with a court date to follow. On the appointed day, I showed up and the asshole didn't so charges were dropped and the officer had said that if I keep my nose clean and stay out of trouble for six months straight, my record would be wiped clean.
I am sure that his intention was to "fix my wagon" for doing what I did and scare me from continuing to "harass" him. What he didn't know was that I no longer needed to do anything to hurt him beyond what I had already done. I got the revenge I wanted and he got what was coming to him. It was a win-win...for me anyway.
